Self doubt is the root of all evil. Where does it begin?
When children first learn to walk, they go into a run as fast as they are able to, and don't stop! My eleven year old has been a super fast runner since she learned to stand on her own two feet at 14 months of age. But yesterday, I saw self-doubt stop her dead in her tracks. It broke my heart to watch and listen to a beautiful young girl, full of boundless potential and abilities, cut herself down and declare that she's "not good enough".
And so it can begin, this ugly road of doubt, and lead the way into adulthood to what becomes a semi-realized adult. Unless there is loving, wise interference and support along the way, right away. I asked my daughter last night: "would your best friend ever tell you that you are not good enough?". She answered "well, no". "Then why would you say that about yourself? Your job in life is to be your own best friend and treat yourself with kindness and respect, just like you would treat others". She looked confused.
I will be working hard from this day forward on eradicating this cancerous self-doubt in her. And everything I can do to change her mind set will never change it, unless she starts believing in herself.
How does this tie into music? Well, I myself recently had a "moment of self-doubt". The new year was under way and everyday life's challenges continued to pile up and before I knew it, I lost sight again of where I was going with my dream for a career in music and self-doubt started to creep in. I too stopped in my tracks, and wanted to run under the covers of my bed, and hide out there for a while. I let fear into my home. Luckily, we adults have the advantage of life experience, unlike kids. I started to smell the stinky old fear and how it was permeating my everyday actions, moving me away from myself and my true purpose.
My mom's not around to "snap me out of it", so I have to be own nurturer, as all of us adults do. I have to remind myself to also be my best friend. So I did, I snapped myself out of it last week. Then I went back to work on music and hit the gym. I don't have a classroom of kids to compare myself to like my daughter does every day. I imagine that my peers are the established musicians of the world, and I sit in my "classroom" every day as I learn the music business and try not to feel intimidated by them or unworthy of their "company". And then, I just do my own thing, that's all I know how to do. And I try to do it well.
As my daughter embarks on the often challenging pre-teen and teen years, I will be reminding her every day, even if she rolls her eyes every single time, that she is always and forever, good enough.